To Love Life Itself

"Thank You Hashem for a cup of waaaater."

We didn't know how serious this was

We got it wrong.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years later. My new precious bundle in the doona, my legs briskly made their way to ward 10.

Ward 10.

Time stood still and I buzzed the intercom

Audacious though I was tricking myself

Hello?

"Hi this is Gitty's mum"

"Cum-on-in"

Oops.

This was the PICU - I guess I sounded so noncholantly real that it caught them for a moment

Second door, I buzzed the intercom again,

"Helloo"

"Hi, yes it's Gitty's mum"

"Sorry, who's parent are you?"

Uh oh

But I was so in it - throwing myself back to the steps I'd taken many a time in that space of existence that still felt like - now.

"Gitty's mum"

"come-in"

I walked to the nurses' station and met one of them.

"Hi I was in the hospital for something minor and couldn't resist, wanted to come in and say hi"

okay, then we chatted, again thrown back in time. I, a hungry mother squeezing out every last detail she might have remembered about Gitty.

They had gotten Gitty wrong

That last day of her double heart attack

They thought she was taking her meds badly.

G-d!

Nurse Sarah got it so wrong.

And while Gitty was groaning

We tried to placate her

Whilst inside we were wringing ourselves, baffled, not comprehending

"Imagine, Gitty, a garden...

What are you grateful for?"

"Thank you Hashem for A cup of Waaater"

Minutes.

Minutes.

And her pure loving heart went into an attack.

Life.

To love

Life Itself.

"So," I asked the nurse, in that later date which felt the same as that one, "So is there any particular memory you have of Gitty?"

"Yes, I looked after her the first time she was sick - she wasn't allowed to drink water; she went to the sink and pretended to wash her face, surreptiously splashing as much water as she could, into her mouth so she could quench her incredible thirst.

"So what did you say"

"I told her," and she wagged her finger in a friendly but clear way.

"And how did Gitty respond?"

"She looked at me" and the nurse imitated for me, a Gitty look - black, cutely defiant, look.

"Yeah - she was sassy"

Gitty, my darling, you gorgeous soul - you knew life in its undiluted form. You loved life. Sassy indeed.