To Love Life Itself

"Thank You Hashem for a cup of waater."

We didn't know how serious this was

We got it wrong.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years later. My precious new bundle in the doona, my legs briskly made their way to ward 10.

Ward 10.

Time stood still and I buzzed the intercom

Audacious though I was tricking myself

Hello?

"Hi this is Gitty's mum"

"Cum-on-in"

Oops.

This was the PICU - I guess I sounded so noncholantly real that it caught them for a moment

Second door, I buzzed the intercom again,

"Helloo"

"Hi, yes it's Gitty's mum"

"Sorry, who's parent are you?"

Uh oh

But I was so in it - throwing myself back to the steps I'd taken many a time in that space of existence that still felt like - now.

"Gitty's mum"

"come-in"

I walked to the nurses' station and met one of them.

"Hi I was in the hospital for something minor and couldn't resist, wanted to come in and say hi"

Okay, then we chatted, again thrown back in time. I, a hungry mother squeezing out every last detail she might have remembered about Gitty.

They had gotten Gitty wrong

That last day of her double heart attack

They thought she was taking her meds badly.

G-d!

Nurse Sarah got it so wrong.

And while Gitty was groaning

We tried to placate her

Whilst inside we were wringing ourselves, baffled, not comprehending

"Imagine, Gitty, a garden...

What are you grateful for?"

"Thank you Hashem for A cup of Water"

Minutes.

Minutes.

And her pure loving heart went into double attack.

Life.

A cup of water.

"So," I asked the nurse, in that later date which felt the same as that one, "So is there any particular memory you have of Gitty?"

"Yes, I looked after her the first time she was sick - she wasn't allowed to drink water; she went to the sink and pretended to wash her face, surreptiously splashing as much water as she could, into her mouth so she could quench her incredible thirst.

"So what did you say"

"I told her," and she wagged her finger in a friendly but clear way.

"And how did Gitty respond?"

"She looked at me" and the nurse imitated for me, a Gitty look - black, cutely defiant, look.

"Yeah - she was sassy"

A couple hours after she passed, we exited the hospital. My hands ached from the emptiness. And, all in the moment, we took a breath. Fresh air. We are here. Aaah.

Spring came and I was in disbelief. I had been anxious about how Gitty would manage the winter,.. and here was the "worst" catasprophy imaginable for her, and I'm still here.

Life.

Nothing stands in its way

It's deeply rewarding for me when I see women who start out by feeling stuck and frustrated, come to - life. They leave invigorated and excited to tackle.

If you'd like to access your life unhampered even by your darkest challenge, sure, you can book a call here,

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